How do I know I’m ready for a baby?

How do I know I’m ready for a baby?

Are you on the fence and not sure you’re ready for a baby? So was I – until I realised this.

In my teens and early to mid-twenties, I always assumed I would have children one day. That’s just it though – it was one day – there was no timeline and longing and I thought I would become more and more eager when that time approached.

Until recently, I was always annoyed by the sound of a babies cry (hey it is kinda annoying right?). I spend a lot of time on trains commuting to and from work and it seems that babies do too – therefore I spend a lot of time having headphones in my ears trying to block out the noise of their screams.

It wasn’t until a year or so ago when I was holding one of my friend’s toddlers (who was especially cute) that I understood. I always thought that all babies were meant to be cute, and I thought I didn’t think they were because I didn’t have any interest (yet) in having them. I now know that some babies are actually cuter than others – and those ones are the ones that make your ovaries react.

Soon after, the clucky feelings set in. The next time I heard a baby cry, instead of putting my headphones in and trying to ignore, I would actually feel sorry for him/her. I would start to wonder each time what could be wrong, whether it’s hunger, tiredness, dampness all maybe all three? With prolonged periods of screaming, I almost felt like going up to the mother and asking her if I could help.

Then I realised – this was it. My maternal instincts had kicked in and all babies are now cute. I am ready! All I needed to do now was practise talking to them. Sounds silly I know – but they are not exactly capable of the same conversations as adults. If you ask a toddler what they think will happen if negative gearing is taken away, they will probably respond with a cute dumb smile and some drool.

Our neighbourhood is pretty big on Halloween, so my husband and I decided to participate in that (the handing out treats part that is). It was a great way to have mini chats with the little ones, participate in our community, and get our house (and ourselves) a good reputation with parents and children.

It’s totally normal as a woman to not be sure about having children. Some are clucky from birth and always seem to have maternal instincts. For others, this might not kick in until your mid-thirties or later. You might be more career focussed and want to save family for later. 

The important thing is to not feel pressured into having a family if you’re not ready for it. Whether it be your partner, your family, or even the feeling of FOMO when all your friends are doing it. Everyone has their own timeline. You do what feels right for you.