Turn on tricks, how to make him hot.

How to turn your man on in bed.

Has it been a while since you were last intimate since your partner? In many relationships there comes a time where sex slows, or you and your partners’ sex drive becomes out of sync. Whether it’s caused by stress, a new baby, or just feeling disconnected with your partner because you are having issues communicating – it’s very common. Here are some ways to revamp your sex life and put the spark back in your relationship 😉

1. Talk about sex.
   It’s ok if you have never done this before. I brought it up with my husband while he was cooking dinner and he gave me the strangest look! It may take some time for him to get used to you being so forward, but it will be well worth it, I promise! Once you have your discussion, sex will be in the back of his mind. He may not act on it immediately, or even in the next day, but it will still be on his mind and will act on it when he is ready. In the meantime, at the very least you will hopefully get an explanation as to why he has not been in the mood lately.
2. Touch him.
   Men are very responsive to touch. Even if they are not the touchy-feely type (like my husband) overall I know they do appreciate it. A touch to a man says “I am loved, I am desired”, and it will get them thinking about sex.
3. Spend time together.
   It doesn’t have to be an expensive night out. Something simple like a Netflix and chill session with a nice dinner and a glass of wine, or even just talking to each other and spending quality time on the bed can do the trick. Bonus points if you make each other laugh. Laughing together is a huge turn on.
4. Dress sexy (or at least more feminine).
   Men are very visual creatures. They may not seem like it, but they do notice what you wear (even if they don’t comment on it). Take a look at what you wear to bed. If you are like me and have let your bedtime attire slip a little bit lately, you might be wearing an old singlet and ratty pyjama pants. This (understandably) is not a turn on. Treat yourself to some new pyjamas. They don’t have to look like they belong in the playboy mansion, something floral and feminine that shows just a suggestive amount of cleavage (even if it’s unbuttoning button up winter pyjamas) will do the trick.
5. Smell nice.
   Something that is very under-rated and seems obvious to most, but not some is smelling nice. Make sure you wash your hair and change the bed sheets regularly. Nice smells do turn a man on (and can you blame them?) Think about how fresh breath, nice smelling hair or nice cologne makes you feel. This will be sure to increase the blood flow to their nether regions.
6. Don’t masturbate.
   I know, I know. Something that is taboo (even in 2020). Something that is also challenging when your partner keeps turning you down. Trust me in saying that orgasming with your partner is a lot more satisfying than orgasming alone. You will find that if you do too many solo sessions, when it comes time to actually doing it with your partner you will take too long to orgasm, so you may feel the need to fake it. This will cause unnecessary resentment between you and your partner.
7. Consider alternatives.
   Next time you’re in bed and you initiate sex but get turned down, ask your partner why. They may say they are too tired, have too much on their mind etc (hey – fair enough, we’ve all been there!) All is not lost though – they may not be in the mood for intercourse, but they could be up for outercourse. If they are tired to the point where they just want to sleep, let them be. However, if they are alert enough to spend time on their phone before sleep – you’re still in for a chance! Say to them something like “I understand you are tired and have a lot on your mind, but I am really in the mood – so what are the chances of quickie hand stuff?” If you’ve never said anything like this to your partner, be prepared for a shocked look, and possibly no action. The more and more you say it though, it will become the norm and you may get what you want. One benefit – if you are that turned on, you will orgasm fast and the sooner your partner can get to sleep. You never know, all your moaning in ecstasy might just turn your partner on enough to have sex after all! (A definite benefit if you’re longing for sex just to be intimate). Remember not to be selfish – next time you’re not in the mood and they are, make sure you offer this to them.
8. Schedule sex.
   One thing that has worked for me is scheduling sex. I know, it’s not as exciting as spontaneous sex, but let’s face it – spontaneous sex in long-term relationships is about as rare as a four-leaf clover nowadays. You might find your partner works better on a schedule or routine (I know mine does). As mentioned, it may not be exciting if it’s the same day each week, but hey at least you’re getting some! You can spice it up by different positions, locations, lingerie etc.

I hope the above tips help spice up your sex life. Sex is so important in any relationship. It’s relationship glue – something that keeps oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) active and prevents break-ups over leaving the toilet seat up or the lid off the toothpaste.

Best of luck in your future sexual endeavours xx